in which i tend to be tired
June 18, 2009, 12:15 am

i don't sleep enough, but luckily, now i have plenty of room to sleep on. i am a newly converted big fan of the air mattress. the air pump is a good workout, and a queen size bed is only like 25-60 bucks. it folds over to the wall when you don't want it, and it's just gigantic.

i dunno why i slept on a twin for so long. i also got some 300 count sheets and like a 20 dollar pillow. i sleep very well now. i dunno if you've priced pillows recently. but that's a pretty decent pillow. MY PILLOW COST AS MUCH AS MY BED! of course, my sheets cost twice that.

none of this has any bearing on anything though, other than my own comfort level. my life is even more on coast than ever it was before. i work two jobs now, even though they are right next to each other. when one job ends, the other wants me to help. when i get a day off, both jobs want me to help. and i help. most days. caricatures are fun, but i hate the waiting. i hate the standing around and wasting precious time that could be spent doing something even mildly productive. i waste so much of my time. i hate to think about it. how much better a person i could be, how much more cultured, how much more involved, how much more defined i could be, if i wasn't required to stand around and WAIT for someone to want to be drawn.

i just want to be doing something, you know? that's why i love the wood shop. i can carve signs literally all day. he WANTS me to carve signs. free signs, expensive signs, example signs. just be working. but sometimes when it's particularly slow, since i'm behind a counter, and since i'm not knotts, and since i'm kind of a big deal, i just sit back there and read john carter of mars on my blackberry pearl. the blackberry has afforded me the opportunity to read again. i can't carry around a book all the time. but my phone goes everywhere, and it has books on it. and edgar rice burroughs books were all free. i like reading on this thing so much, i might start buying books. who knows. i think my reading speed might even be improving. i can only look at so much at a time, so it doesn't allow my eyes to wander all over the place and get lost, which has always been my problem before now.

but i also love carving signs. caricatures is super hit and miss, cuz sometimes people just don't get it. but when you make someone a kickass sign, and they look at it and they love it, and they look at you with those wondering eyes, like "how did you know exactly what i wanted?" it's great. it's an amazing feeling. and i LOVE making free signs for kids. kids eat it up, man. they see it made and they think it's so cool, and then you hand it to them, and they feel it, and then you say they can keep it, and they just get all excited. like they can't even speak most of the time, they're so amazed. it's totally awesome.

i don't know where my life will be in 2 years. it's all up in the air. i keep fucking up in my online professional life, but set me in a brick and mortar store, and i will OWN that place in 5 years. i'm too motivated to sit around at a job and do nothing. but now i'm working two jobs. both of whom want me to run their stuff. i am in an optimum position, if only i was more cutthroat and not such a softy.