in which i watch movies
April 21, 2008, 7:49 pm

"A person is smart. People are dumb, panicky dangerous animals and you know it." -men in black.

so i saw cloverfield tonight. i liked it alot. the creature was bizarre, and i have no freaking clue what it was or where it came from, or what it's motivation was. and that's alright. i'm not afraid to leave a theater (read: my room) with a few questions left in my head. i'm kind of mad at who survived longer than who. i feel like all the characters got taken in sort of a reverse likability order.

but that's not what i'm mad about. i'm mad about this post on the imdb forums. "this movie deserves to be shown in full screen but the studios has only decided to release 'anamorphic' widescreen copies." THIS PERSON REPRESENTS EVERYTHING WRONG WITH OUR SOCIETY TODAY! deserves to be in fullscreen? are you shitting me? you deserve to have your moving picture privileges REVOKED. fullscreen is not better, folks. you don't like those black bars? I DONT LIKE HAVING TO MISS OUT ON ONE OF MY THREE AMIGOS, BECAUSE FULLSCREEN ONLY ALLOWS ME TO SEE TWO AT A TIME! i don't like having to switch between lando and han because fullscreen can't handle the glory of the millenium falcon AND two actors at the same time. i don't like having to sift through glossy fullscreen dvd covers to find my scuffed, dull cover of the gloriously widescreen copy of the movie i want to see. i hate that everytime i go to walmart, they have a two movie dvd of the neverending story, and the neverending story II AND THEY'RE BOTH IN FULLSCREEN!

it irks the shit out of me. STOP IT.

mpaa, STOP pandering to the stupid people. fullscreen televisions aren't even produced anymore, i hope. why would they be? hey, maybe some people like seeing only 4 out of 8 horses during the chariot race in ben-hur. but the discerning viewer deserves better. i am that viewer, and i can't wait for the day when fullscreen movies are a thing of the past.

no fullscreen version of cloverfield? thank you jj abrams. you are the author of my contentment.

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