so daniel, who is not to be confused with danny, brings a friend home tonight. i know that she was not his girlfriend, because his girlfriend is in new mexico. this has no implications for him, only how my own conduct should be. i may be a notorious flirt, but i'm not gonna hit on a guy's girl right in front of him. i have too much respect for my friends, and fear of pain, to do that. did i mention that i'm a huge flirt? i am. i used to do it subconciously until one day someone pointed out to me that what i was doing was flirting, and now i SOMETIMES still do it subconciously. that is to say, now i do it conciously more often.
regardless, she was not his girlfriend, and she was quite good looking, so i go into instant flirt mode. not because i expect anything from it. far from it. i just love flirting. it's awesome, harmless, and usually the other party will reciprocate. also, i believe her name was hilary. i don't remember this because it was told to me. i am awful with names and have a horrible short term memory anyways. i remember this because danny, not to be confused with daniel, repeated her name after our introductions. i don't know how her name is spelled, because i didn't take the time to have her spell it out for me. it could have one or two l's. or perhaps three y's. who knows. not me. whatever.
so danny goes away immediately, and then me, daniel and hilary talk for a while. i believe candy canes might have been eaten somewhere along the way. but at some point i realized that in the middle of her shirt was a stain. it wasn't noticeable on first glance, but suddenly i realized that i was staring at it, and that i had probably been staring at it for a couple seconds. this stain was directly between her breasts. right there. smack dab.
i don't know how many of you know what it's like to feel like a jackass, but trust me when i say it's one of the most personally degrading moments of my life. how can you excuse that? you can't? "i swear, i was staring at the stain not your boobs" IT DOESN'T WORK! and needless to say, once i noticed the stain, my eyes were drawn to it like a magnet for the rest of the night. every couple minutes my eyes would suddenly latch onto a unique spot on her shirt. "hey look, a spot!" YOU CAN'T IMAGINE HOW FRUSTATING THIS WAS!
anyways. i think she might be an arsonist, but who knows, that's a story for another day. i need to go to bed tonight so i can do applications tomorrow. stay frosty, kids.