in which i am mostly productive
January 30, 2006, 4:00 pm

so i wrote a new song this weekend. i wrote it in one day. i'm very proud of it. it used to be that when i wrote music they were all horrible unrequited love songs. but this is a hopeful love song. it's weird. i never thought about it before, but almost all my songs are very depressing. but this one isn't. it's very fun to play and very melodic. and me and daniel worked on some harmonies today. we're going to be storming the epic cafe this thursday. so if you're in the tucson area, be sure to stop by some time... around... uh... ... ok we haven't exactly set a time. but it's going to be awesome. and i'm right down the street anyways. so you can just stop in and ask when.

HAHAHA NO ONE READS THIS WHO LIVES NEAR ME!!

anyways. we'll be there for open mic night, and we'll probably all play songs. it should be groovy. i haven't gotten the chance to record my new song yet. tre just got back from phoenix, so we'll probably go in and record tomorrow. also, tre and i recorded a fun version of my lazily song, so if you want to hear that, just email me, and i'll send you a link to it. also, danny's girl bekah is like a ROCKET SCIENTIST and she brought over this program called matlab to work on some homework. and it's the simplest freakin program ever. so i'm coding it in javascript and i'm gonna save some people about a 100 bucks. it's gonna be awesome. face it matlab, you just aren't all that.

in which i have even more space
January 27, 2006, 12:06 pm

so i don't have aol. so of course, you'll follow along, and understand that i was surprised tonight, when trillian told me that my habycl aim account "got mail". how could my instant messenger account get mail? well apparently aol has finally wised up and realized that anyone should be able to get aol mail if they can use the instant messenger service. it's part and partial of the whole gig. so i have signed up, and can now be sent email at habycl@aol.com. some people change their screen names all the time. some people change emails weekly. i'll admit, i've gotten new email addresses along the way, but i've had the habycl screen name for well on 9 or 10 years now.

many people ask me what it means. or rather, most people don't care to ask, but i bet they wonder. since the people who DO ask are always so full of wonder. well it is the first two letters of each of my names. HAmilton BYrne CLine. seemed simple enough at the time, and i have always been determined to NOT put numbers in anything that identifies me. it's bad enough that i have to put them in my passwords. of course, for about the past 3 or 4 years, i have been going by the name bronkula on a lot of things, and i believe i registered the aim name bronkula, but i've just never bothered to move over to it. i think i also have hamdiggy.

it turns out i HADN'T registered the bronkula screen name. but now i have. yes that's right, this post is in positive flux. and so is my current web presence.

whatever. more importantly, daniel and i stayed up til like 6 am chatting about ridiculous philosophical stuff. i did NOT do any of my needed applicationing. which means not only am i not employed, my sister is bound to be pissed at me. most distressing.

"killing in the name of" is a great rage against the machine song. that is, it's great to rock out to. also, danny has no taste in music. seriously. awful.

in which i make a fool of myself
January 26, 2006, 5:40 pm

so daniel, who is not to be confused with danny, brings a friend home tonight. i know that she was not his girlfriend, because his girlfriend is in new mexico. this has no implications for him, only how my own conduct should be. i may be a notorious flirt, but i'm not gonna hit on a guy's girl right in front of him. i have too much respect for my friends, and fear of pain, to do that. did i mention that i'm a huge flirt? i am. i used to do it subconciously until one day someone pointed out to me that what i was doing was flirting, and now i SOMETIMES still do it subconciously. that is to say, now i do it conciously more often.

regardless, she was not his girlfriend, and she was quite good looking, so i go into instant flirt mode. not because i expect anything from it. far from it. i just love flirting. it's awesome, harmless, and usually the other party will reciprocate. also, i believe her name was hilary. i don't remember this because it was told to me. i am awful with names and have a horrible short term memory anyways. i remember this because danny, not to be confused with daniel, repeated her name after our introductions. i don't know how her name is spelled, because i didn't take the time to have her spell it out for me. it could have one or two l's. or perhaps three y's. who knows. not me. whatever.

so danny goes away immediately, and then me, daniel and hilary talk for a while. i believe candy canes might have been eaten somewhere along the way. but at some point i realized that in the middle of her shirt was a stain. it wasn't noticeable on first glance, but suddenly i realized that i was staring at it, and that i had probably been staring at it for a couple seconds. this stain was directly between her breasts. right there. smack dab.

i don't know how many of you know what it's like to feel like a jackass, but trust me when i say it's one of the most personally degrading moments of my life. how can you excuse that? you can't? "i swear, i was staring at the stain not your boobs" IT DOESN'T WORK! and needless to say, once i noticed the stain, my eyes were drawn to it like a magnet for the rest of the night. every couple minutes my eyes would suddenly latch onto a unique spot on her shirt. "hey look, a spot!" YOU CAN'T IMAGINE HOW FRUSTATING THIS WAS!

anyways. i think she might be an arsonist, but who knows, that's a story for another day. i need to go to bed tonight so i can do applications tomorrow. stay frosty, kids.

in which i don't go to the job fair
January 25, 2006, 6:18 pm

i need a job.

for a number of reasons.

reason 1. i have rent. it's true that i rent from my sister, and so in some ways i have a little leeway, but in another, more real way, i have a much GREATER obligation to come through with my rent money. because i could let down a landlord any day of the week, but it would definitely be bad if i let down family.

reason 2. i like to eat. i'm getting fat. i'm not even kidding. i like to eat many different kinds of things, and i like to eat large portions. when i eat wings, i roll twenties. when i eat chips, i eat the whole bag. when i eat ramens, i make two or three packages. i like to gorge myself on the finer things in life, three of which i just laid out for you.

reason 3. i like stuff. sometimes i like to buy stuff. who wouldn't want a new mp3 player, or a new nintendo ds, or a hundred dvds to make purely legal copies of funny movies from the eighties?

reason 4. pocket cash. living in a house with 8 other people means there's always someone doing something. ALWAYS. there is very little downtime, and so there's always somewhere i could be having fun. i'm a very sociable person. i love talking and hanging out and spooning at the end of the night. also i have been very lucky in that all of my housemates are freaking awesome. there's two geeks, two musicians, a very tall black doctor, and my sister and her husband. this of course doesn't even count the menagerie of girlfriends they parade in weekly. anyways. my point is, they're all cool, and there's not one of them that i wouldn't drop what i'm doing to spend time with them. but going out is expensive.

reason 5. laundry. seriously, i need to do laundry, but it's 1.50 for every load. i mean come on. that adds up QUICK.

reason 6. random generosity. i love giving when i can. i don't have money very often, and when i do, i will give it to anyone on a whim. i love helping people out, not just because i know that i could be on the other end of that dynamic at any moment. i've been poor long enough to know that sometimes people just need a little scratch.

reason 7. girlfriend. oh my. what's this? is this some truth. some people ask me, "hamilton" they say, "hamilton, why don't you have a girlfriend", and i used to sputter and make up excuses, but the straight up reason is, girls are expensive, and i have no cash flow at the moment. so ladies, if you love to pay for lunch and buy movie tickets, come visit hamilton cline in tucson arizona, and i'm sure we'll have a lovely time. until then, i'm holding off on the nookie.

i'm sure there's more reasons but that'll do for now. it seems as tho this blog is turning into the "hamilton lists shit" blog. ah well. there's only like 10 people who have me friended anyways. here's to you guys.

in which i do no such thing
January 24, 2006, 5:49 pm

i'm learning C# and asp.NET. did i mention that? i am. it's kind of annoying moving from php to asp. on one hand, i love php. i like the simplicity of the language, and i like that it's constantly being updated. i like that i can use notepad to make php files and not be told i'm hamstringing myself if i don't write code in a debugger.

asp.NET is very different. for one thing, i spent a long time building a function that would allow me to pass a sql query into it and it would return a paged table of data. i spent a long time making it exactly how i wanted it. only to find out that asp.NET has nearly the same thing except better in it's datagrid object. that's very annoying. .NET is trying to hold my hand. i like to make this stuff myself. i want the BASICS to be made for me, but i want to make the cool stuff myself. now there's no reason or need to. it's already there. it's very annoying.

it's more annoying to know that i am so easily tossed aside. all my hard work is for nothing in this other language. i've taken a long time to learn php, but asp.NET doesn't want me to know it's workings. "use our little widgets and everything will be fine." "trust us." "just throw in a label and it'll all work out in the end." DAMMIT, I WANNA MAKE IT MYSELF! i didn't sign on to be a coder so that i could copy your tools. if i'd've wanted that, i would've stayed with html. i wanted to MAKE SHIT HAPPEN! i want to create. but with asp.NET it's right back to cut and paste. it's all there already. just pick and choose what you want, and fill it in. it's very disheartening. but then again... it's so much easier now. it's more complicated to learn - to master - certainly, but it's so much easier to implement. how can i honestly be down on something that will save me so much time, in the end. i can't.

... it's very disconcerting.

It's what you bring to it
January 23, 2006, 5:39 pm

Life isn't about waiting around for things to be brought to you, it's about using the gifts you have to bring something new to the table. Some people wonder what the key to success in life is. I've got the keys right here.

Key #1. Be Unique. This does not mean you have to be original, it merely means that you have to do something different.

Key #2. Be Enthusiastic. There's is nothing more contagious then being around a person who is pumped for a subject. Except perhaps yawning... yawning gets passed around like the plague.

Key #3. Be Confident. Even if you don't know what the hell you're doing. Be confident in attempting, and exude an air of confidence in all that you do. Awards and diplomas and certifications are all well and good, but if you're confident, people will believe you.

Key #4. Be Excellent (to each other). If you are right with people, then people will be right with you. Everybody's expecting an angle. Everybody is used to not trusting anyone, so when you give them reason to trust you, you make friends for life.

Key #5. Be Forgiving. Everyone makes mistakes, but not everyone can find it within themselves to forgive the people who do them wrong.

Key #6. Be Judicious. Treat people with the respect they deserve. However, judge everything that crosses your path. Test things before giving your easy consent to them, and don't take no guff offa nobody.

These are the keys to success in relationships, and the keys to success in business. They are the keys to success in life. Being unique will single you out in a crowd. Being enthusiastic will draw people to you, whatever you do. Being confident will cause people to be confident in you. Being excellent toward others will induce them to be excellent to you. Being forgiving will mend all of your silly little problems. Being judicious will show that you are not to be taken advantage of. Life is a game that anyone can win. It's a constant back and forth of shows of strength and submission. But above all you MUST MOVE FORWARD. I have often wondered whether it is better to walk down a road with no direction, or to stop and decide which road to take. I believe now, that the key is constant forward motion. THIS is your life. NOW is your time.

Six Degrees of Lost
January 22, 2006, 9:23 pm

Lost is a hit tv show shown on the ABC television network

ABC is owned by Disney

Disney has released all of Pixar's films

Pixar is a company owned by Steve Jobs

Steve Jobs is the creative force behind the Ipod

Ipod has episodes of Lost for purchase

It never quite dawned on me before just why Ipod seemed to only be showing ESPN and ABC television shows. but this is, I believe, undeniable proof why.

Also, if you're not watching Lost, you might as well be stabbing yourself in the face repeatedly. Because that's what every moment until the next episode feels like to me.

I haven't written in here in a long time. I alsways say I'm going to, and then I don't. I'm going to start writing in here again. Take that as you like.

I make a new start in life
July 8, 2005, 11:44 am

Nobody reads this. and that's probably good. i have started in arizona with limitless merit. i needed somewhere to stay, and i have been more than accommodated. i needed a job, and have found myself within the throes of a company that quite possibly needs me more than they even realize.

but more importantly than all that is this. i am riding the bus.

the bus is an experience unto itself. public transportation gives form to some of life's most pathetic wretches, and some of humanity's most noble ventures. some of the people that board the bus have not bathed in weeks. some of their minds are so far gone that they ramble on to themselves, or to anybody that will listen to them... or to anybody they THINK is listening to them. but some of the people who ride the bus make extraordinary acts of ordinary kindness. when wheelchair bound people get on the bus, everybody calmly gets up out of the seats that fold in, to leave room for the wheelchair. if somebody knows the procedure they will usually find the latch, release the seat, and probably help the person secure themselves into the wheelchair latch. it is quite amazing, refreshing, and it renews my faith in humanity.

i ride the 8:00 in the morning, and the 6:00 at night. i go from university and stone, to oracle and rudasill, and then back from rudasill and oracle, to stone and university. i talk to very few people. but some of them talk to me. i have been asked for smokes and money three times now, in as many days. i assume it is because i look like i have money. i have to explain to the poor beasts, that i have no money, i have no cigs, and my sister bought me these clothes for my job. some of you might be offended by my calling them beasts, but i say that only because their minds are gone. they have only just enough will to keep going. but that's all. they have become nothing more than animals, running on the instinct to preserve their own pathetic lives. some of you might even STILL be offended. and to that, i say, you just haven't met the people who proposition me.

i got on an empty bus today, after work. it continued to be desolate until we reached the transit center at tohono tadai. about 10 people got on here, including a family. a man, a woman, and their four children. the man and woman could not have been out of their twenties. the eldest boy looked about five, and the youngest was a little girl. she was slightly pudgy, and far to big for the slender figure of her mother to be carrying her. yet that is exactly what happened. two boys sat behind the father, and the other boy sat with his mother, carrying the rotund little girl, in front of the father. the girl would reach for the little boy in what appeared to be affection. i couldn't venture a guess as to how old she was, but she was young enough that she needed to be carried, and seemingly held aloft, lest she fall over in any direction. the boy gave her his hand, and she bit it. he cried out in shock, but the next minute was giving her his hand again.

later, the little girl started to cry. she would wail out for no apparent reason, until the father would take her hand, and hit his with hers, and say "ouch", and she would begin to laugh. i say begin, but that is not quite the right way to say it. one minute she would be crying intently, and the next she would be giggling hysterically. it was a profound moment in my life, as i watched the daughter constantly begin to cry again, and then turn right back around when she had "assaulted" her father.

i got off the bus, and came home. and now i sit, writing these notes. i find myself wanting to do this everyday, but i fear i won't be able to stick to it. i can only hope that i prove my on misgivings wrong.

HC

i loves me some tv
February 12, 2003, 2:56 pm

so i watched angel tonight. and damn if that isn't just a great show. i saw it comin when angelis hadn't really been changed by the spell. that was too obvious. but cordie stabbing the other chick at the end was SOOO out of the blue.

... now... some of you may be saying, "angel? on the wb? what are you gay?" and to those people, i must snicker, because they obviously never saw an episode. the show is so good. the dynamics between the cast. and the ever changing cast. and i must admit, angelis is such a great character. i bet boreanaz relishes these times. until it's back to boring ol pouty whiny wussy angel. and i think it's awesome that, once again, the main character on the show? IS A BAD GUY!!! WOOT!!! that's so awesome. i think the wb is chuckin out some great tv right now. the dawson's creek episode tonight was a tad mushy (but when is it not?) but really good. i liked the premise, and the two actors carried it off perfectly. i also love the superman series, smallville. mainly for the dynamic between lex and everyone else. they've really set him up as the shit collector. constantly giving him more and more reason to be the lex we all know in the future, and, i think, making him a much more well-rounded character.

yes, i loves me some tv. don't even get me started on ed. cuz that show just rocks me hard.

stupid computer...
February 12, 2003, 2:58 am

i really don't know what's wrong with this thing. sometimes i swear i have a virus. i'm downloading a movie on kazaa, and everytime the modem disconnects, kazaa seems to lock up. this didn't ever used to happen. the task manager doesn't work anymore either. if a program locks up, you're supposed to be able to close it with the task manager. but if i try to close something, then the task manager locks up TOO. and that, in turn, locks up the entire system. URGH. it's so frustrating.

I haven't been able to write any new lyrics in ages. i just have no inspiration. and i keep playing the same few tunes over and over again. Bm - G A, Bm - G A, Bm G A Gb, Bm - G Bm A G, G - A Bm, G - Bm A, G - A Bm, G - Bm A, repeat. one of these days i'm gonna write something for that. i like the way it sounds.

ah well. i think i should reboot. get kazaa back online.